Hello and welcome to ‘Putting the D in the P’, my weekly look at the latest episode of Death in Paradise. Death in Paradise is one of my favourite shows on television, and when casting your eyes down to the article below, just remember that my light-hearted ribbing is coming from a place of love.
This episode of Death in Paradise felt radically different from other episodes of the show. In fact, I can’t remember it ever doing something like this before. Because in this episode, the murder mystery was not the main plot. Usually the actual investigation is the main plotline, and we get some character story through a sub-plot. But this episode flipped that on it’s head. The story of Humph coming to terms with Martha’s imminent departure from Saint-Marie was very much centre-stage, and the whodunit was confined to something that amounts to a bare few scenes.
This makes the murder mystery noticeably weaker than anything that has come before. Of the four suspects, only two were really interviewed, and the conclusion (spoilers) is pretty dumb. We’ll take a closer look as we delve into it deeper. So please come on a journey with me, for the fourth time. Let’s put some D in the P!
(I make up episode titles because they don’t have any)
Series 6 Episode 4: The Damsel and the Death Bowler
Cricket! Cricket! Love a bit of island cricket. Totally not boring cricket. The Commissioner likes a bit of cricket. In fact, he loves cricket so much, he’s the flippin’ umpire of this here cricket game we are presented with. I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So the team win or lose or whatever it is they do in cricket (they wicket?), and they decide to celebrate/commiserate at the club. Sans the commissioner, all the others get tanked because they love cricket.
Thing is, the president of the club, Jerry, got a little more thirsty so he goes to get some more beers. Unfortunately, he never comes back. They assume he just passed out because he loves cricket so much, but team captain Gus Coleman eventually goes to look for him. He finds him out at the wicket, dead, from a shot to the heart!
Looks like this mystery is going to be a real………..STICKY WICKET………..(
sometimes I imagine a universe where I was never born and it’s exactly the same as this one)
Roll those darn titles!
At the station, Humph and Florence are just hanging out. Humph is playing around with a Rubik’s cube which totally isn’t going to be the way he works out who killed the cricket man. It’s rather clear that Humph is trying to forget about his predicament with Martha, the girl he has been Humph-ing while she’s been on the island. At the end of the last episode, Humph realised he had fallen in love with her. So that’s a thing.
Soon they’re off to the crime scene though,
and all the sexual tension between Humph and Florence is gone as the Commissioner informs them of the sad death of Jerome Martin. Looks like he was shot from close by, as Florence finds the shell casing. Humph also finds Jerome’s wallet full of cash, so this wasn’t a robbery. Yeah, no shit.
Only four people were still at the club when Jerome’s body was found…because you know, that’s the number of suspects all these things have, and while Dwayne and JP search the office, Humph and Florence go to meet them. By the truck, they find Gus Coleman, who needed to come and get some air. Humph is taking none of that shit though – he has to go back and join the others. We need a group interview scene, goddamit!
Humph finds that the cricket game the previous day was a benefit game to raise money for Torey Martin’s treatment. Torey Martin (Jerome’s son) was a promising young cricket
prodigy? player? wicket? person before he got into a car accident five months ago, which fucked up his spinal cord. Now, he’s in a wheelchair. With electro-stimulation, he might be able to walk again. But that costs some serious cheddar.
Elsewhere, we have Sabrina Martin, Jerome’s wife and Archie Browne, treasurer of the club, along with Gus (who needed to get some air even though everyone was outside already). JP and Dwayne find a box of bullets in the office safe, one missing. Guess what? A match for the casing of course. Humph asks the suspects about the bullets (see how much quicker this is going than in other episodes???) The bullets were for the gun Gus bought after a break-in. The gun should be in the safe…but of course it’s not. It’s missing. The only four that had the combination for the safe, are the four suspects. (Which actually is a good reason all the other guys at the party could be eliminated. I would give the episode points for this if everyone else from the party hadn’t already been discounted for no reason.)
Everyone was in the bar for the whole night, before Jerome was found, which means two things. One: none of them could have killed Jerome and Two: they must’ve peeed in jars or something. The suspects have been at the club ever since the murder took place, ergo the murder weapon still must be there somewhere. Dwayne and JP are on the case. Florence finds a camera on the bar, which looks like it filmed the party. (Keeping up? This one’s a fast one.)
Humph feels Gus is holding back, which is probably a good shout, but Dwayne and JP search him and there’s no gun. Dwayne and JP search for the gun, but Dwayne seems a little distracted. It’s not really important.
Humph and Florence review the footage of the party from the camera and it looks like Torey and Jerome had a little tiff. Torey says that his father kept apologising for the crash. Jerome blamed himself because the MOT on the car was out of date. (We know he’s telling the truth, because there’s a flashback. So I guess…yeah.) But Torey says there was nothing wrong with the car; he was just driving too fast.
Dwayne and JP get back to the station. No gun. While Humph is recapping for the audience, he sees someone messing with the police jeep. He books it outside and opens the bonnet to find nothing really wrong with the jeep. JP looks around and someone at the market did see someone fucking with the jeep. Humph finds a small ripped piece of blue fabric on the engine.
Humph is still uuming and ahhhing about telling Martha he loves her. He doesn’t want to ruin the rest of the time they have left. At the bar, JP finds out why Dwayne was a little off his game before. Katherine tells him that Dwayne’s father used to take him to the cricket a lot. It’s not a big deal.
The next morning, Dwayne finds out that Jerome was withdrawing huge amounts of cash every week (which you might remember was a key plot point for The Seismic Conundrum investigation as well. It’s a Death in Paradise staple.) Also Jerome had life insurance. Sabrina Martin doesn’t know nothing about no life insurance, but she does know Jerome was paying off some debts with his large withdrawals. Of course, that’s a load of shit and Humph knows it.
Dwayne and JP are going through Jerome’s email and find an unsent draft that’d pretty fucking juicy. It was to Archer Browne and hinted at some sort of blackmail. Obviously, Archer doesn’t know nothing about nothing. He says that Jerome offered to help him pay off his gambling debts (totally voluntarily). Obviously, this is a load of shit. (So much shit this episode.) Florence finds out that Archer’s garage carried out the assessment on Torey’s car. And Humph thinks that Archer was blackmailing him because of that. Archer continues to talk out his arse for a bit. Humph is having none of it, and notes that Archer’s jumpsuit is a very particular shade of blue.
You see, Humph has a new idea. The one place that isn’t searched at a crime scene? The police vehicle. Humph thinks Archer hid the gun in the jeep, then came to retrieve it. Seems like we have our man.
At this point, the investigation is paused while the A-Plot really kicks in to gear. Not much happens in a while so I’ll just bust through it. At Martha’s leaving drinks, Humph finally confesses his love for her. Unfortunately, Martha is tanked and falls asleep before she hears it. Dwayne and JP are staking out Archer’s place. They fight and make up. It’s not a big deal. But Archer is seen chucking a gun in the sea. JP gets it out.
In the morning, Humph realises that Martha didn’t hear his confession when she was super tanked. He tries to tell her again, but Florence interrupts them
because Florence secretly loves Humph because they’ve found the flippin’ gun. Humph promises to Martha that he’ll be back in time to take her to the airport. Which of course, he won’t. Because he’s like God spilled a person Humph.
At the station, Humph has his big revelation sequence a little earlier than usual. You see, Dwayne says the way he solves Rubik’s cubes is to take them apart and put them back together. A dot that I cannot manage to connect to the proceeding solution. They go to gather everyone together as usual, but Humph asks Dwayne to find Gus’s coat. Cos that’s important I guess.
The big finish. Like ten minutes before the end. (This was such a weird episode) Just a quick side-note – (look above) I love how they just dumped Torey out of his wheelchair. That looks like the most unnatural place to seat a paraplegic ever.
Anyway back to the thing. And HOLY FUCKKNOCKERS!!!! it was….no wait this one’s a little difficult. So first off Jerome killed himself, wracked with guilt over the fact that he caused Torey’s crash. But he didn’t. But Archer was blackmailing him telling him that he did. And Gus found that out, so when he found Jerome had killed himself, he tried to make Archer look like the murderer.
Gus moved the gun casing, put the gun in the jeep (remember when he was ‘getting some air’? Yeah fuck off Gus.), retrieved the gun making it look like Archer and then planted the gun in Archer’s office. Archer found the gun, freaked and dumped it in the ocean (as you would, I guess).
But get this, none of that actually matters. Archer’s still gonna get charged with manslaughter, blackmail and perverting the course of justice. So there was absolutely no reason for Gus to try and frame him. If anything, Gus is the real villain because he wasted the police’s time. And get this, Gus didn’t get arrested.
So it’s time for THE DEATH IN PARADISE ‘CRIMES THAT ARE TOTALLY DISREGARDED FOR SAKE OF PLOT’ LIST brought to you by SHERLOCK, the ‘Well Series 1 – 3 were good. They can never take that away from us.’ show.
- Identity Theft (E1)
- Illegal Substance Abuse (E1)
- Sexual Harrassment (E2)
- Credit Card Fraud (E3)
- Arson (E3)
- Perverting the Course of Justice (E3)
- A BIG ONE – Perverting the Course of Justice (E4)
And that was THE DEATH IN PARADISE ‘CTATDFSOP’ LIST.
Anyway, take Archer away I guess.
Oh yeah, Humph totally didn’t get back in time to take Martha to the airport. She’s gone and she’s left a note – a note that pretty much shows that Martha felt the same way as Humph. It’s time for a good ol’ airport chase scene, but this one actually has them chasing after the plane.
It’s actually pretty cool.
Anyways, Martha doesn’t see Humph and Dwayne chasing after them, and to be honest even if she did, I don’t think she could’ve stopped the plane. So Humph is alone again. Or is he….? I’m not talking about Florence
but Florence though. I’m talking about the possibility of him going to London, which is possible. I guess.
This episode was so weird. The actual investigation felt so rushed, and the final reveal wasn’t satisfying in the slightest. Gus’s actions made this investigation (in the most literal sense) a waste of time. The Humph/Martha stuff was fine, and the Dwayne/JP stuff was fun as usual, but it just felt like a mix-up of ideas.
I guess this case really was THE DAMSEL AND THE DEATH BOWLER
wait that doesn’t really make sense
Oh well, something big’s on the horizon. Something London.
neither does that
UP NEXT: There is a murder. But this one is international motherfuckers.
See you next week!